Sex Egyptian: Exploring Ancient Practices and Modern Interpretations
Well, let me tell ya ’bout them sex egyptian folks, the things they did way back when.
I heard tell they had some funny ideas ’bout love and all that. Not like us nowadays, no sir. They was all mixed up, what with their gods and goddesses and whatnot. Seemed like they thought doin’ the deed was somethin’ holy, somethin’ the gods would be happy about. Can you imagine? Bless my soul!
Now, they had this thing, this… uh… “mash-your-baitin’” they called it… somethin’ like that. Anyways, they didn’t think it was no big sin, like some folks do. They figured it was just another way to get closer to them gods. Weird, ain’t it? But that’s what they say.
- They got hitched young, them Egyptians.
- Sixteen years old, and they was already sayin’ “I do”.
- Mostly stuck with one fella or gal, but it wasn’t no big deal if things went south. They just moved on, I reckon.
And the pictures they drew! My stars! All over the walls and such. Folks doin’ all sorts of things, things you wouldn’t wanna see your grandma doin’, that’s for sure. But they didn’t seem to mind. Just put it all out there for everyone to see. Didn’t have no shame, them Egyptians. They draw them on walls and stone.
They had this plant, paper-us, they called it. Used it for everything. Clothes, ropes, even paper! Imagine that! Writin’ on plants! But I guess they didn’t have no Walmart back then, so they had to make do with what they had. They used that paper-us to make boats and sales too. Clever folks ain’t they? Lord have mercy!
But they had their rules too, just like us. Couldn’t go around puttin’ your feet on the table, or pointin’ your shoes at folks. Considered rude, they said. And they didn’t take kindly to them flyin’ machine things, what do you call ’em? Drones! Yeah, them drones. They didn’t want them buzzin’ around, scarin’ the camels or somethin’. And them stray dogs and cats? Best leave ’em alone, unless you wanna get bit or scratched. Full of fleas, them critters.
They had all sorts of folks back then too. Kings and queens, big shots in the government, fancy priests and such. Then you had your scribes, writin’ everything down, and soldiers, fightin’ wars. And of course, you had your regular folks, makin’ things, sellin’ things, workin’ the land. And at the bottom, well, you had your slaves. Tough life for them, I reckon. Always been that way, poor folks always got it hard.
Now, they say the king, they called him Pharaoh, he was the big cheese. What he said went. Nobody could tell him nothin’. But even he had to listen to the gods, or so they say. Seems like them gods had a lot to say ’bout everything, even who you slept with! Bless their hearts!
It’s all a bit confusing, if you ask me. But that’s how they did things, them sex egyptian people. A long, long time ago. Makes you wonder, don’t it? How folks could be so different, yet so much the same. We all just tryin’ to get by, I reckon. Find a little love, raise a family, and try not to make the gods too angry.
Ancient Egypt, huh? A strange place, that’s for sure. But interesting, I’ll give ’em that.
Tags: [Ancient Egypt, Egyptian Culture, Sex in Antiquity, Egyptian History, Pharaohs, Social Classes, Ancient Sexuality, Egyptian Society]
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