Untangling the King John of England Family Tree
Alright, so ya wanna know about this King John fella and his family, eh? Well, lemme tell ya, it’s a whole mess of folks, like a chicken coop gone wild. This John, he was born way back when, 1166 they say, on Christmas Eve no less! Imagine that, a little baby king on Christmas. He wasn’t supposed to be king, see? He had a bunch of older brothers, like a whole litter of puppies, but things happened, and wouldn’t ya know it, he ended up on the throne.
Now, his daddy was this King Henry the Second. Henry, he had a whole bunch of kids, too. And his mommy? That was Eleanor, a fancy lady from some place called Aquitaine. Don’t ask me where that is, sounds foreign to me. So, John, he was the baby of the bunch, the runt of the litter, ya might say. Nobody thought he’d amount to much, but life’s funny that way, ain’t it?
- King Henry II (Daddy) – A big shot king, had lots of kids and land.
- Eleanor of Aquitaine (Mommy) – A fancy lady, probably bossed Henry around, just like us women do.
John, he got hitched to some woman named Isabella. They had kids, of course, gotta keep the royal line going, ya know? Like plantin’ seeds in the garden. But before Isabella, he was married to this other gal, Hawise of Gloucester. That didn’t last long though. Kings, they do what they want, I guess.
One of John’s boys, Henry the Third, he became king after John died. Can ya believe John croaked in 1216? Lived a good long life, I guess, for a king anyway. All that rich food and bossin’ people around probably kept him goin’. This Henry the Third, he had kids too, and they had kids, and so on and so forth. It’s like a never-ending chain, all them kings and queens.
This whole king business, it’s complicated. They got family trees longer than my clothesline! And half the time they’re fightin’ amongst themselves, just like my grandkids fight over the last piece of pie. They fight over land, they fight over who gets to wear the crown, they fight over everything. And the poor people, like me and you, we just gotta sit here and watch it all happen.
John, he wasn’t a very good king, from what I hear. He taxed folks somethin’ awful, squeezed every penny outta them. And he got into fights with the Church, too. Imagine that, fightin’ with the Church! That’s like fightin’ with God himself, or so the preacher says. They even kicked him out of the Church for a while, said he was excommunicated. Big words, but it just means they were mad at him.
He also lost a bunch of land over in France. Guess he wasn’t much of a fighter neither. Folks didn’t like him much, that’s for sure. But he’s famous for this thing called the Magna Carta. Don’t ask me what it means, some fancy legal stuff, but it was supposed to make things a bit better for folks, at least that’s what they say. But from what I hear, it didn’t help much.
So, that’s the story of King John and his family, as best as I can tell ya. A whole bunch of kings and queens, fightin’ and marryin’ and havin’ kids. It’s enough to make your head spin, ain’t it? But that’s how it was back then, I guess. Them kings and queens, they thought they were better than everyone else, but they were just people, same as us, just with bigger hats and fancier clothes.
And that family tree? It just keeps on growin’, branches goin’ every which way, like a wild grapevine. You got your Henrys, your Johns, your Edwards… It’s a long list, and I can’t remember half of ‘em. But one thing’s for sure, they left their mark on history, whether we like it or not.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go feed the chickens. All this talk about kings and queens has made me hungry.
Tags: King John, England, Family Tree, Henry II, Eleanor of Aquitaine, Magna Carta, Kings, Queens, British Monarchy, Medieval History
Original article by the Author:Kerwin,If you intend to republish this content, please attribute the source accordingly:https://www.creativesfunding.com/3571.html
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