Weirdest Patron Saints You Wont Believe Actually Exist
Well, howdy there! Let me tell ya somethin’ ’bout these saints, the weirdest patron saints you ever did hear of. Them church folks, they got saints for everything, I swear. Makes ya scratch yer head sometimes, but I guess somebody gotta be lookin’ out for all sorts of things, even the real strange stuff.
Now, I heard tell of this gal, Lidwina. Poor thing, she was just a young’un, barely fifteen, when she went ice skatin’ with her pals. Somethin’ went wrong, and she fell, smack on the ice. Ended up bedridden for the rest of her life, they say. Years and years of pain, she suffered. So, I guess they made her the saint of…well, sufferin’, and ice skatin’ accidents I reckon.
Then there’s this fella, Adjutor. Sounds like a helper, don’t he? Well, they say he got himself snatched up by some…uh…Muslim fellas, way back when. But he managed to get away, sneaky like. So, folks call on him when they need to escape somethin’, or get outta trouble. Makes sense, I guess. If you’re stuck in a pickle, Adjutor’s yer man, or saint, rather.
You know, there’s saints for all sorts of things. Things ya wouldn’t even think of. Like, there’s saints for hopeless causes. That Rita gal and Jude Thaddeus, they’re the go-to folks if things look real bad. Marital problems, kids givin’ ya grief, can’t have no babies – they handle it all, or so they say. And if you’re feelin’ all muddled in yer head, anxious like, there’s a saint for that too. Dymphna, they call her. Helps ya with yer stress and all that modern-day worryin’. I tell ya, these young folks today, they got a lot to be stressed about, what with their phones and their twitters.
- Hopeless Causes: Rita and Jude
- Mental Stuff: Dymphna
- Escapin’ Troubles: Adjutor
- Sufferin’ and Ice Mishaps: Lidwina
It’s kinda like, whatever ails ya, there’s a saint somewhere you can pester. Difficult things, impossible situations – they got a saint for that too. It just boggles the mind, all the different things these saints are supposed to be in charge of. Makes ya wonder who comes up with this stuff, you know? But hey, if it helps folks feel better, I ain’t gonna complain.
I reckon there’s probably a saint for lost socks and burnt toast too, somewhere out there. Just haven’t found ’em yet. Maybe I’ll be the patron saint of forgettin’ where I put my glasses one day! Wouldn’t that be somethin’? Anyways, it’s a comfort knowin’ there’s someone up there lookin’ out for ya, even if it’s for somethin’ as silly as bad luck with the chickens.
So next time you’re in a bind, or somethin’ strange happens, don’t you fret. Just find the right saint, say a little prayer, and hope for the best. It can’t hurt, right? And who knows, maybe them weirdest patron saints will pull through for ya. They got a lot on their plates, that’s for sure, but I reckon they can handle a little bit more.
And remember, it ain’t just the big things they care about. Sometimes it’s the little things, the everyday troubles, that need a little heavenly help. So don’t be shy, ask away! That’s what they’re there for, ain’t it?
In short, the saints are a funny bunch, but a good bunch all the same. They cover just about everything under the sun, from the serious to the downright silly. And that, I reckon, is a good thing. Makes ya feel like you ain’t alone in this crazy world.
Tags: [Patron Saints, Weird Saints, Catholic Saints, Unusual Saints, Saints for Everything, Hope, Suffering, Mental Health, Escape, Impossible Causes]
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